Manizesto

Why Colombian Soccer Players Get More Yellow Cards

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:00:00 -0700

It’s not the latin temper. A new study suggests it could be the exposure in one’s home country to civil war.

“We find that the extent of a player’s home country’s recent record of civil conflict (our proxy for exposure) is strongly associated with violent behavior on the soccer pitch, as captured in yellow and red cards, but not other dimensions of play, such as goals scored.”

The study focuses on world cup soccer teams, and gets really interesting on page 25. Here it is.

A Liar from Utah County? Could it be?

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:33:00 -0700

The Utah Flash, a D-League NBA basketball team in Orem, Utah, may have committed the year’s worst marketing snafu by heavily implying His Airness Michael Jordan would be playing a one on one game against Brian Russell, a retired Jazz player, during halftime of the Flash’s opening game.

The Flash released a viral video of Jordan (look alike) eating at a nearby restaurant and made many statements indicating there was a strong possibility he would be there.

But he wasn’t. The fans, many of whom had paid $300 for season tickets to get in to the game, were pissed. Flash owner Brandt Andersen finally had to respond:

“In every interview I said if Jordan did not show we would have a backup that would be entertaining. I promised it would be worth attending. So as a backup, we hired a Michael Jordan lookalike. It was always in the plan to put him out in the community whether or not MJ showed. We wanted to test the strength and effectiveness of viral media by putting him out in Provo with bodyguards, and some hype. I always assumed it would be uncovered very quickly that it was a hoax.”

Andersen lead people to believe Jordan was coming even though he knew it would not happen. In fact, neither he nor his representatives ever even spoke with anyone from the Flash about showing up. It was never a real possibility and Andersen knew it.

So bait-and-switch, so abysmally distasteful, and so lacking in foresight it’s hard to comprehend.

And as lying is leading someone to believe something that you yourself do not believe, Andersen is a liar. And I can’t imagine how no one, during the marketing meetings, thought to say, “You know, some people might not like the fact that we’re promising something we can’t possibly deliver.”

Addendum: From Brandt’s BYU Marriott School profile:
Management Philosophy:
Trust must be earned.

Buying Green Makes You More Likely to Steal

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:24:07 -0700

A classic case of moral licensing:

Students shopped in one of two stores- a traditional store, and a store with just green products- and then were asked to share $6 with an unknown partner. Green store shoppers were far less generous.

In another experiment, students were found to be much more likely to steal money after shopping at a green store than students who shopped at a conventional store.

It also explains why, in another study, white Obama voters felt justified in acting racist later on.

So maybe Prius owners, not BMW owners, are the biggest jerks on the road.

More here.

Design Linkage

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0700

-45 Design & Developer blogs worth following

-A font I like

-Turn your pitiful handwriting into a pitiful font.

-70s style user manual designs for social networks.

Tall women are the smartest

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:00:00 -0700

“Once height (measured in inches) is controlled, women have significantly higher IQs than men. Net of height, women score 2.14 points higher on the PPVT. In contrast, each inch in height is worth more than half an IQ point (0.56). A comparison of standardized coefficients shows that the effect of height is more than twice as large as that of sex. Because American men on average are 5 inches taller than American women (5’10” vs. 5’5”), this translates into 2.80 IQ points, overcoming the 2.14-point advantage of wom- en and making men appear more intelligent when height is not controlled.”

They also controlled for sex, race, age, physical attractiveness and health.

As a relatively short man, this is discouraging news.

Here is the complete study.

On public commitment and achievement

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:38:21 -0700

Women who made a public commitment to lose weight achieved 102% of their weight loss goals and 97% kept the weight off, compared to 88% achievement levels for people with no public commitment.

I find the measurement used to track subjects susceptibility to normative influence (how people behave based on social approval) somewhat flawed, but otherwise Nyer and Dellande have confirmed what could be a lever for marketers.

Increasing the how public a commitment is made would probably yield even better results; that’s why The Biggest Loser contestants always lose massive amounts of weight.

More here (pdf).

Two Sides, Two Choices

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:17:17 -0600

There are two types of vacations: those that leave you rejuvenated and those that leave you exhausted. I will never understand why people choose to take vacations so crammed with activities, destinations, sites, shopping, shows and gluttony you come back to your busy life sapped and sluggish, needing, ironically, another break.

Actually, I do know why people do it. So they can say, “Oh, the Great Wall? Yes, I’ve seen it. Very large…you can see it from space!” Or “Sure, Costa Rica was nice, but there’s nothing like Barbados.” To brag, see? Because where is the glamor of telling your friends you went to the mountains and spent some time reassessing your life, truly letting go, and re-filling your reserve tank? Right. You have to leave that little showboating vessel vacant, put it on the shelf and forget about it. You must. But then you won’t even have any good photos to post of Flickr and Facebook.

So, you see, we fall into the trap of taking trips of the former sort, and get gray hair and heart disease instead.

Leave renewed, or leave exhausted. It is up to you.

All relationships have elements of polarizing irony. Think on this litmus test for proving the value of personal interactions:

“You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.”
-Milton Glaser

So, you can put wrinkles on your face by pleasing every customer, or you can find the world’s best customers that leave you fulfilled.

You can cringe and work for someone or something you don’t like or you can choose not to.

You can guard to the death your secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices or you can share it openly with the world.

You can give a man a fish, or you can teach him how.

You can take 1,000 photos of 100 places, or you can see, experience and contemplate one place, and take no photos.

It is up to you.

The Parable of Helio

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 09:25:00 -0600

I stab the brakes to shave off about 75% of my speed as I enter the corner, press in the clutch, throw it into second, then blip the throttle to about 3,500 RPM. The engine winds up eagerly, so I engage the clutch and get hard back on the throttle just at the apex of the corner. The tires complain a little but I don’t pull back. Then it’s Wolfgang Amadeus’ Marriage of Figaro Overture (the last 47 seconds, especially). Bliss. Powerful, incredible, overwhelming bliss.

When I leave Albertson’s with diapers, mayonnaise and an off-limits treat for myself, I drive the same route and experience bliss again. In my 2003 Civic.

And what of it? Am I not to live and experience the delectable oysters of life, even if they are small? True, I am not a racecar driver, and to my own dismay and humility, I’ve yet to master heel and toeing. Still, I know I will never, ever, be content navigating a lumbering 2-Ton SUV with an automatic transmission. Automatic!? It’s blasphemy!

And I cannot be alone in this hidden passion and secret fun upon which I occasionally feast.

The Parable of the Freak

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:13:00 -0600

Deja Vu is a magical, mysterious and sort of creepy part of life that sneaks ex nihilo right into your very conscience, plays around for a few seconds, then vanishes. As a chacho, I had deja vu many, many times, but I had to be 10 or 11 years old before I discovered there was actually a name for it.

It was so hard to describe and I never heard anyone else talking about it. So maybe deja vu was more like a small bed-wetting or a pair of mismatched socks on my feet, or maybe even sort of like Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five a blind contestant. It happens, but it’s too personal, mysterious and too unbelievable to be talked about openly. So best keep it to myself, else I turn out to be some sort of freak (Am I right Seacrest? Mmm?)

And then, finally, you dare to talk about it, in a, like, aloof sort of way, detaching yourself from the incident so as not to prick your pride. And someone takes note. And perks up a bit. And someone else overhears and blows it all into the open. Can open. Worms everywhere.

And boom. You are not a freak! It has a name! Behold, your normalness!

A very many of your customers have never heard of deja vu, or RSS, or SEM, or marketing ratio, or any other sort of jargon you’re used to speaking. Be sure to spell it out plainly, openly, communally, and without condescension. You will be glad you did.

Why You Should Become a Panhandler (or Marketer)

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:34:00 -0600

Some panhandlers are extremely successful. What’s interesting is how their success translates to marketers like you and I. Aside from learning to communicate a message in just a few words - something everyone should learn to do, and a reason I like Twitter - they have figured out how to get people to take an action. That’s what all marketers want, right?

But what’s more, the action they take has no substantial payoff for the “customer”, the payment goes to an entity with which the “customer” has essentially no relationship or brand, and “customers” understand there’s a high chance the money will not be used very wisely. It’s every marketer’s dream! :)

Here are 6 approaches panhandlers take that you should too:

1. Blunt Object. “I’m not gonna lie, I need a drink.”
Marketing Version: You will save 5% on your next purchase.

Why it works: This is tell-it-like-it-is marketing. No fancy talk. No gimmicks. No strings attached. The honesty is refreshing, so people respond.

2. Vague promise w/ future benefit. “God Bless You.”
Marketing Version: Grow Your Business with our product

Why it works: Who wouldn’t want a blessing from God? Who wouldn’t want their business to grow? You’d be crazy not to want that. And all it takes is one small payment? Done and done!

3. Reverse Psychology. “Betcha can’t hit me with a quarter!”
Marketing Version: “Bet You can’t eat just one.”

Why it works: It worked when we were kids, and it still works, albeit in a more subtle way, today.

4. Sob Story. “Son in hospital. Stuck on the road.”
Marketing Version: Pablo is an orphan suffering from Malaria.

Why it works: Tugging at the heart strings brings out emotions which lead to action. Bonus - you feel like you’re doing something selfless (even though you’re not).

5. Specific Need. “Need .43 cents for bus pass. Please help.”
Marketing Version: You only need 84 more miles to become a Platinum Medallion Member.

Why it works: You’re setting clear expectations of what the customer has to do and what they’re receive in return.

6. Infomercial. “Will Work for Food.”
Marketing Version: You’ll get skinnier, for only $12.95/week.

Why it works: The promise is built up, followed by the price. I will do work for you; if you’ll just give me some food. There’s a reason infomercials don’t say “It costs $20, but you get something great!” Because you’ve positioned something with a known value (money) before something whose value you now have to prove afterward. It’s much, much easier to build up the value first, then show it only costs $20.

Bonus: Humor. “Ninjas killed my family. Need money for Kung-Fu lessons.”

Why it works: It make people feel good, and emotions are 90% of why we make purchases (the other 10% being rational).

BTW, most of these are actual signs held by actual panhandlers. You can see them here.

[More panhandling tips here.]

The Parable of the Pee Dance

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:43:00 -0600

“Dad!”

And out swept the cool calmness of delicious sleep. My mind swooshed up a corridor toward reality, then forced my eyes open. It was dark. The luscious dreams from early morning sneaked away in the very moment I tried to solidify what they were.

“Dad! I have to pee!” whispered an urgent voice from the doorway.

I squinted pointlessly, “Okay, buddy, go ahead and go.” I could tell my breath was pretty bad.

“Can you help me?”

Could I? Of course, of course. But, we had put a lot of time and hours into helping my 3-year-old do this all on his own. Many scoops of Tide with Lavender scent. Countless frantic runs to the public bathrooms. Strategic planning taking place for every trip.

Spare underwear and pants? Check. Spare socks? (per gravity). Check. Time since last large drink? More than 45 minutes, check. Last try? Just now.

Okay, let’s roll.

So we had taught him how to fish, as the saying goes. We had made sure of this. But in his frantic, pleading, half-conscience moment of need, he waited and maybe expected me to give him a fish again. No. You know how to fish, little one.

“Daddy!” now more urgent than ever. I sighed.

Not one minute later, I felt the dreary envelope of sleep slithering up and around all over again. It had not been worth it, to make him do it alone, or deal with the crying when I said to go do it alone. And it wasn’t right, either. It seemed appropriate that our “rules” about making him go to the bathroom on his own be left open to exception from time to time, like tonight.

There’s nothing that incites fury more than corporate policy and procedure when you’re about to pee your pants in the middle of a dark night alone.

“Please press 8 to…”

“I’m sorry, we need your account number to fulfill that request.”

“If you don’t have your receipt…”

Sometimes you just have to go outside the protocol and help a kid out, even if you have to get out of a cozy bed.

The Snickers Standoff: Day 8

Fri, 29 May 2009 12:08:00 -0600

I’ve had a Snickers bar sitting on my desk at work for 8 days now. Shall I eat it now? No, too early for empty calories and the sluggish, sloppy gut I will have right after. How about now? It would be a nice after lunch treat. No, not now. Too soon. I can’t eat all that right now. I’ll have some gum instead. Hmmm, that Snickers is starting to look pretty good. Sort of. But it’s just so big and I’m really that not hungry just now. And I’m almost out the door to head home, eat dinner and go to the gym. Tomorrow then.

And on and on. And on.

The standoff is sort of like that WWI movie with the skinny, scared Italian guy hiding in the trenches, and he’s alone, and everyone around him is dead, and he has to stick his hands in the dead guys pockets to get their ammo and maybe some acqua or booze or whatever. Then when the shooting and gas bombs or whatever they’re called, start up again, he sort of gets antsy and can’t sit there alone because, he’s pretty much going crazy, my friends, and then he can’t take it any more and stands up to start fighting and zip zip zip, three bullets right in the guts and he’s done. All that waiting for, like, nothing. He was going to die anyway, you know?

That shiny happy packaging staring at me from the corner of my eyes every day, sort of wearing me away, flapping it’s little flappy wings to get my attention and crinkling a smile, saying how it will satisfy me-it’s putting me like the Italian. And I feel myself losing it a little.

Try not to do that to your customers, if you can.

[Photo by Ritesh Kapur.]

The Parable of Pig-headedness

Tue, 26 May 2009 10:05:00 -0600

Pigs look so funny on leashes. And in family pictures. It’s because they are outside their natural element. They are intelligent, yes, of course. And delicious; that goes without saying. But the reason pigs on leashes seem so awkward is they are not good at doing things pets normally do, like playing catch, or rolling over, or learning funny phrases or even for petting.

I can see wanting a pig for a pet if you are training to become a professional mud wrestler or a truffle hunter (or a Sunday dinner), but for anything else, the peg is still square and the hole still round.

And if you’re looking to enrich people, encourage growth and enable amazing stuff in your organization, you’ll only hire a pig if you’re going to allow it to be a pig, even though it might be okay at pretending to be something else. And don’t be surprised when it would rather wallow in the mud to stay cool because pigs like that better than air conditioners.

So if you’re looking at hiring an amazing developer who works best at night, or a customer service rep who prefers pacing while on the phone, be careful you’re not stubbornly jamming a doggie sweater over a wet snout.

[Photo by mark larson].

The Onerous Truth

Thu, 21 May 2009 10:27:00 -0600

Car shopping a few weeks ago, I found a particular sport utility wagon that seemed to be “it”. “The One”, as it were. We asked the salesman for the keys. It drove nice, but had this subtle, off-putting odor. It was a musky, droopy kind of dankness that sort of announced its presence when you first opened the door but then let you in so you felt part of it and didn’t think about it at all after a minute. Until you left and came back. Then “Hello!”

I told the car salesman it was a go, except the dankness.

Max-that’s the salesman’s name-fitted and showed dismay, and made it seem like they were caught with their pants down at that dealership. How embarrassing. Don’t know how that little niggle slipped through the cracks. We can’t let a little vex like that get in the way of your dream vehicle now can we? No, we can’t. No. Not at all.

He made like he was fighting for us and went in to talk to the manager to see what could be done to save us from the subtle, sneaky, snarky little smell that had wedged itself-or so it seemed to our lovely salesman-between us and our happiness.

Smiling, he came back out, his Dockers slightly bunched at the pockets from taking long strides to and fro, with a reassuring smile peaking out. He let us in on a secret.

“We can fix it. We can-I’ve talked to to the detailer himself-he can get the smell out. The detailer-His name is Enrique-English is his second language-he said, ‘Max, ‘floor mats.’ As in, that’s what was causing the smell. And he could get it out.”

How could I be sure? Subtle little smells like that can be pretty territorial and might retreat then sneak out again later on, I told Max.

Bring the car back, no strings attached, I was reassured. “Or, clean it first, then if it’s really gone, you’ve sold it,” I proposed.

“I’d love to, I really would, but that’s just not possible. You see, the expert we hire to come and do this, you know, in depth, really serious cleaning, doesn’t work here. We hire him from outside. And we, the dealership that is, have to pay for it…”

And that’s when I stopped listening, because it was a lie, what he was saying. Can not and impossible? Of course they could. But they didn’t want to incur the cost, push the status quo, or ruffle the feathers of the decision-making suits upstairs or the like.

I don’t fully get that. Can’t is never can’t in sales. Won’t is more like it. “Won’t” might be a good enough reason, I’ve no doubt, but let’s hear it like it really is. “Interesting suggestion there Jonathan, but that just doesn’t make good business sense for us. You see, we can probably sell this car to someone else without having to pay that cleanup expense to get that sly stench out of there.”

There. Honesty. Smells better already.

Imitations

Tue, 19 May 2009 09:30:00 -0600

Have you ever watched Frank Caliendo? He is, among other things, an impersonator, and a pretty good one. His impressions of Charles Barkley and John Madden always make me snigger.

I find it amazing that someone can make a living pretending to be someone else. Copying their every move, mannerism and voice. It can only work if you do it perfectly though. It has to be so good you might even mistake the fraud for the real thing.

What impresses about good imitations is how much you learn about the real thing when you see the impression. They do tilt their head to the right like that. They do hold their breath mid-sentence. They do say “particular” a lot.

If someone does an impression of you, you may realize how easy it is to pick you apart, to steal your identity and to emphasize your ticks and flaws.

It’s disconcerting.

If you’re going to imitate someone (or something, like a business model), you’d better get it perfect. Bad imitations are awkward and embarrassing.

And while it’s entertaining to see imitations, you’d always rather experience the real thing. If you’re okay living in that space, fine. If not, then do your own thing.

[photo by Thomas Milne]

Note to all my subscribers

Fri, 15 May 2009 10:51:34 -0600

First of all, thanks for subscribing. Many of you subscribed while I was requiring subscriptions to access my full posts. But I received a lot of feedback from people saying they wanted to view the archives as well. So in the interest of each of you, I’ve decided to remove that barrier.

So when you have a minute, stop by the blog and browse some of the archives.

Plus look for more updates on marketing, copy writing, customer engagement and other marketing-related nuggets.

-Jonathan

My Biggest Marketing Mistakes of 2008

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:45:46 -0700

It’s nice to talk about all the great things one has accomplished during the year and it’s easy to highlight the blunders of others, but I think it’s much more useful and tangible to look at your own marketing mistakes.

Here are the biggest mistakes I made in marketing this year:

* I neglected my best customers. Not completely, of course, but your best customers should truly receive the most pampering, the best support, the best offers and a truly outstanding experience. I didn’t give them that.

* I settled for sub-par technology. There are some amazing marketing tools out there that can make innovation very intuitive and simple to do. They allow you to market to your existing and potential customers in incredible ways. But this year, I plugged along with the same adequate but not robust technology.

* I didn’t emphasize Life Time Value (LTV) enough. I spent a lot of time focusing on acquisition costs and measuring the performance of each marketing channel based on how many dollars it took to get that initial purchase. But how much did that customer bring in after 3 months? One year? Five years? Understanding LTV and how to increase it will help you know how to spend your money more wisely and see where your best customers are coming from (billboards, radio, banner ads, email etc).

* I didn’t have enough fun. You can’t avoid the tactical work of marketing: setting up campaigns, running tests, analyzing results, compiling data and so forth, which is, you know, exhilarating and everything, but does leave me wanting. I had too many days where I went to meetings, executing campaigns and tracked them instead of finding ways to make the work more engaging and fun for me (and for my customers).

I’ll save the endless list of small embarrassments and mistakes for another post (teaser: I emailed a vendor saying “Hell Amy” rather than “Hello Amy”. Luckily she laughed it off).

Before you go jumping into making resolutions for next year, take some time and look at the biggest mistakes you made. Your goals should probably address those first.

For more innovative marketing tips, subscribe to this blog. [Photo by I like]>

The Hunt

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:32:00 -0700

In marketing, we’re all hunting for something. But it’s interesting to me how some people put so much time and effort into things that often yield so little.

Millions have been spent looking for Sasquatch, but we still have no solid evidence he exists.

Many more millions have gone to looking for extra-terrestrials, with still nothing to show for it.

The Discovery Channel is running a show called Storm Chasers about people trying to capture tornadoes on tape and collect data about the storms. I’ve watch the show several times, and they’ve yet to get what they’re looking for.

Millions of acres have been mined in search of gold, but in thousands of years, man has only found enough to build 1/3 of the Washington Monument (Platinum is actually much more rare).

It seems like such a waste, but even though the efforts often fail and there’s always disappointment, the payouts (you hit a vein of gold or you find a promising footprint) are enough to keep you moving forward.

Two things you can take from this.

First, the hardcore hunters are much fewer than the number of Softcores. Softcores are people with a casual interest who like to watch shows about tornado chasing but who would never drive straight into an F5 storm. They’re people who shop for headphones, not Skull Candy Hesh headphones with 50 MM speakers, OFC cables and 32 OMS in Black and White Camo. If you want your organization to be revolutionary and big, target the more significant group, then lead them to appreciate the narrowness of your product.

Second, if you’re putting in a lot of effort for very little in return, take a step back. Maybe the payouts are too far and few between to warrant the work you put in. Consider marketing your business in a different, more dependable way, or market yourself to a different group. Better yet, consider going after that innovative marketing tactic that might help you discover something better than gold.

[Photo by kurtz]

Popquiz: Name that Millionaire

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 10:37:55 -0700

A few hints:
She was an orphan.
She was black.
She was a self-made millionaire.
She’s not Oprah.

Born on a plantation to former slaves, this remarkable woman from Louisiana became an orphan at seven and a widow at 22 years old with a 2 year old baby under her arm. And despite living in a very racist and very sexist United States, she started a business and became the country’s first female millionaire ever, of any race.

“There is no royal, flower-strewn path to success. And if there is, I have not found it for if I have accomplished anything in life, it is because I have been willing to work hard,” she said.

Any guesses who it is?

Madam C.J. Walker. She started a cosmetics business targeting African American women which quickly became one of the fastest growing companies at the time.

“I am a woman who came from the cotton fields of the South. From there I was promoted to the washtub. From there I was promoted to the cook kitchen. And from there I promoted myself into the business of manufacturing hair goods and preparations…I have built my own factory on my own ground.”

Now, do you have the same tenacity, the same grit, the same audacity and the same sticktoitiveness to succeed despite what the outside world says you can do? Or do you find yourself blaming a slow economy, lack of resources or a demand for more conservative marketing efforts for your lack of innovation and success?

Don’t play the victim card. Your results are your own. Find a way to make it happen.

[Photo by Janneke Hikspoors.]

Will Innovative Marketing Die in 2009?

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:41:09 -0700

It’s going to be a tough year for many businesses next year. Sales will be down, clients will leave and budgets will come under scrutiny. Which begs the question: Is innovative marketing going to die next year?

That depends on what type of marketer you are. The Scrutinizers will cut marketing budgets. The Dreamers will keep dreaming. The Worry Warts will do the same old thing and develop ulcers. But what about the Innovators? How can you innovate with resources under perusal and people less willing to take risks?

First, let’s define innovation. It’s not risk taking. It’s not unmeasurable. It’s not audacious. It can be all these things, but doesn’t need to be. Innovation is doing something new or doing something old in a new way. If you’re not innovating, you should be fired.

Innovative marketing will not die next year. In fact, the innovation field is ready to harvest next year. All you need are the skills to harvest it and to be better at it than others.

I plan to innovate next year by:

1. Always asking “Why?” When we develop systems and processes that work, we tend to never step back and question if they’re the best way to do things. This year, I’m on a quest to find better ways to message people, better ways to fulfill on promises and better way to improve customer relationships.

2. Always asking “What if?” Development resources, budget constraints, time and headcount are all limitations we’ve used to box ourselves in and restrain our thinking. Don’t do it. Dreaming is one of the best ways to come up with better, more innovative ways of doing things. In 2009, I’m going to make time to ask “What if?” often.

3. Always asking “Why not?” It’s a healthy question. When (not “if”) you get told “We can’t do that”, ask “Why not?” Ask it regularly, then let your mind explore ways you can still make things happen that would normally get shot down.

I guess what I’m saying is look for ways to challenge the status quo and innovation will follow.

[Photo by Sarah1rene]